(clanging)
Nothing. Oh, well.
( metal clinking )
That sounds like a quarter crying for help.
Come to Papa!
Hold it right there, buddy.
My son just dropped that quarter.
Yeah? Well, that kid looks pretty shifty to me.
How do I know he didn't steal it?
( silly groans )
Hey!
That little brat's throwing
perfectly good money away!
Oh, so if I can't have it,
no one...
l hope he throws all your retirement money down a hole!
Poor little quarter.
What the...?!
This well is full of money!
Don't worry, little fellas!
I'll save ya!
( grunting )
Oh, it's no use.
Me poop deck's too big.
Make a wish, dear.
All my wishes have already come true.
Oh, you.
No!
I'll save you, money!
Got ya!
What do you heartless brutes
think you're doing?!
Um... using the wishing well.
Well, you toss in a coin and make a wish.
And then what?
And that's it.
Nothing else happens.
It's fun!
You mean, suckers
throw money down a hole for fun?
That's the greatest scam ever!
Can we have our quarter back now?
SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob,
why aren't those patties ready?
You can't rush perfection.
I'm not rushing perfection, I'm rushing you!
( laughs ): Always the kidder, Squidward.
( funny mumbling )
Oh, this job stinks.
But at least I'm not digging ditches.
( thud ) MR. KRABS: Squidward! SpongeBob!
I got a new job for you.
X marks the spot
of the Eugene Krabs Memorial Wishing Well.
A wishing well, here?
Wow!
Don't you have to be dead to have a memorial anything?
Oh, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?
Yeah, Squidward, don't you believe in magic?
No, I don't!
And neither does Mr. Krabs.
Well, I do.
This well's going to make
a lot of dreams come true.
What's the first thing
you're going to wish for?
To be as far away from you as possible.
Come on, SpongeBob.
This hole's not going to dig itself,
and I'm certainly not going to do it.
Squidward, aren't you excited?
This is really going to help people!
♪ Take a penny and some magic ♪
♪ Even though your life is tragic ♪ Hey!
♪ You can throw all your dreams down the well ♪
♪ Although every day the pain grows ♪
♪ You ride unicorns on rainbows ♪
♪ If you throw all your dreams down the well ♪
♪ When your life's come apart at the seams ♪
♪ And you've given up all your dreams ♪
♪ Here is just the means to make those dreams come true ♪
♪ No more suffering, no more sighing ♪
Ow! ♪ No more pain and no more crying ♪
I'm not crying. Oh, no. ♪ When you throw all your dreams ♪
♪ Down the well. ♪
Well, Squidward, what do you think?
That was the worst song I ever heard.
But at least the stupid well's finished.
It's beautiful!
( sniffing ) You smell that, boys?
That's the smell of money.
You mean magic, don't ya?
All I can smell is that Dumpster.
( flies buzzing )
All right, Squidward,
you can go back to the register.
As long as there's no singing.
And I've got a date with a Krabby Patty.
Hold on there, SpongeBob.
Let me show you your new station.
It's kind of a promotion, sort of.
A promotion?!
Why do I have to go down in the well?
To collect the money.
How long do I have to stay down here?
See you in eight hours.
Thanks for the promotion.
lt sure is dark and scary in here.
( whimpers )
l sure wish I had a fancy telescope,
one that works underwater.
That'd make me happier
than a June bug at a porch light sale.
Our very first wish.
l can't wait till it comes... Oh!
l have presented you with a monetary offering
as custom dictates.
My wish, nay, my command,
is to be taller.
Just a little.
Just big enough to crush my enemies
like the vermin they are!
Gosh. Oh!
I wish I had a snazzy new boat.
I want to be a hotrod mama. ( wolf whistle )
( gasps )
( loud sucking )
Hey!
Oh, my gosh.
Who said that?
Patrick!
H-How do you know my name?
Patrick, this is a wishing well.
Just throw in a coin and make a wish.
Okay, magical talking trash can.
I wish SpongeBob were here to see this.
( groans )
Whoa! Patrick!
Hi, SpongeBob.
I got my wish.
Patrick, you're supposed to let go
of the coin when you throw it.
But I got my wish.
Well, we got six- and-a-half hours
till the end of my shift.
What do you want to do now?
Tag, you're it.
Tag, you're it. Tag, you're it.
Tag, you're it. SpongeBob, what kind of haul did you get?
I did great, Mr. Krabs.
I got a nickel from Sandy, two pennies from Mrs. Puff,
a penny from Plankton,
and this slightly used pair of dentures.
And I fell on my head.
Well, I can probably get a couple of bucks for Patrick.
Nah.
You'd better just send up the money.
This wishing well was a wonderful idea, Mr. Krabs.
Has anyone's wish come true yet?
Uh, not yet.
But I'm sure if you believe strong enough
and dug deep enough,
everyone's wishes will come true.
Really?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
Can we come out now?
Goodness, no!
You got to stay down there,
just in case any late-night wishers come by.
I'll be back for you at dawn.
Oh, no one's wishes are coming true.
What did we do wrong?
I know I believed hard enough.
Maybe I just didn't dig deep enough.
What do you say, Patrick?
Are you ready to dig for some magic?
Yeah!
♪ Oh, the magic has gone missin' ♪
♪ And everyone's still wishin' ♪
♪ But their dreams have fallen flat upon the ground ♪
♪ You'll find magic under rubble ♪
♪ So, Patrick, grab a shovel ♪
♪ And here is where the magic can be found ♪
♪ We're at the bottom of a well ♪
♪ But, man, won't it be swell ♪
♪ When we make everyone's wishes all come true? ♪
Holy mackerel!
Look, Patrick!
We've struck magic!
Is that good?
Next to being a fry cook,
it's the most important thing I've ever done.
It's the only thing I've ever done!
SQUIDWARD: Having fun down there, SpongeBob?
( laughs ) Hi, Squidward.
Patrick's down there, too?
It just gets better and better.
Do you want to make a wish?
( laughs )
I got my wish.
You two are stuck in a dark hole and away from me.
Guess what, Squidward?
We found the magic.
( laughs )
There's no magic, SpongeBob.
Wishing wells are just a scam to fool saps like you.
( cackling )
No, it's true! We did find the magic.
Oh, I wish you could see it.
( laughing )
Ooh!
( thudding )
Squidward!
You decided to join the party!
Party!
Let me out of here.
We were just going to play some party games.
Tag, you're it! Tag, you're it.
SQUIDWARD: l got to get out of here.
Go, Squidward! Go, Squidward!
( Squidward screaming )
There's no way to climb out of here.
Maybe if you had more upper arm strength.
Yeah, you should work out more.
Well, why don't I just start right now?
After all, I've got a couple of dumbbells right here.
( laughs )
I don't get it.
Could you not stand so close?
You're making me claustrophobic.
What does claustrophobic mean?
It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
No, it doesn't.
Ho-ho-ho! ( laughs )
Stop it, Patrick! You're scaring him!
Ho-ho-ho!
It's not working, Patrick.
Darn.
Um, Squidward, you're standing on my foot.
Oops! Oh, sorry, SpongeBob.
Hey, you got your elbow in my ribs.
Ew!
( sizzling )
Patrick!
And stop stepping in my potato salad.
Hey, hey, hey, guys?
Stop pushing me, Patrick.
You mean like this?
No, like this.
You shouldn't fight in here.
This is a magical place.
SQUIDWARD: Patrick, get off of me!
( fighting continues )
I told you I am claustrophobic.
Nice try, Squidward,
but there's no Santa Claus here.
SQUIDWARD: Patrick!
Good morning, SpongeBob.
Let's see what you got!
Oh, it's heavy.
Must be a lot of money.
Free, I'm free!
Squidward?
What were you doing down there?
I didn't approve any overtime.
Or were you sneaking here
in the dead of night for free wishes?
The only thing I wish for is to be far away from here!
Ow!
( horn honks, bell dings )
Bye, Squidward!
Enjoy your trip.
Lucky.
So how much money did you make last night?
We didn't get any money,
but we found something better.
We found the magic.
The what?
We dug down deeper in the well and found the magic.
Now all the wishes will come true.
Listen closely, SpongeBob.
You don't get what you want in life just by wishing for it.
( both screaming )
What in the deep blue is that?
There's a full moon out tonight.
Do you like my new telescope I wished for?
That's great, Sandy.
That wishing well sure does work.
Just a coincidence.
( engine revving, tires squealing )
What do you think of my new hotrod?
It's beautiful, Mrs. Puff.
How's about letting me take it for a spin?
( both laughing )
No.
( engine revving )
See, Mr. Krabs?
She wished for that boat.
You mean, she stole that boat.
( thundering footsteps )
Morning, SpongeBob, Krabs.
Beautiful day.
( laughing maniacally )
Is that proof enough for you?
You'll never get me to believe in magic, never!
Just to prove it to you,
I'll demonstrate.
I wish I was steamed
and served with a side of melted butter!
( laughs )
Mr. Krabs, no!
Well, where's your magic now?
Oh, where am I?
What's going on here?
Uh-oh.
I do believe in magic! I do believe in magic!
Oh, no!